nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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