I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
high people should be assigned attendants
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
