ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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