Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
