I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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