I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
