just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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