pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The chlamydia really affected his face.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
BRING THE BAGELS
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize