I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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