Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
