I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Enjoy the penises
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
