morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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