Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
