you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
