I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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