Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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