is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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