I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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