i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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