We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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