just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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