are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
