So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
her vagine was all disorganized.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
