Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
