You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
