HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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