dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
