Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
