Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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