I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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