CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
