So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Randomize