The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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