I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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