If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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