I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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