Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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