I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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