they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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