found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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