you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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