Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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