That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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