She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
vagina is talking i cant
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
