Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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