She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
