They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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