How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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