We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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