if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
