Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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