5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
