Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
