So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
