The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
