about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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