yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
