yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize