My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
