Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
